First Meditate

Untitled by Hope Wilson, acrylic on paper

First meditate, be blissful, then much love will happen of its own accord. Then being with others is beautiful and being alone is also beautiful. Then it is simple, too. You don’t depend on others and you don’t make others dependent on you. Then it is always a friendship, a friendliness. It never becomes a relationship, it is always a relatedness. —Osho

Untitled

Walk Away

Photo: Andrea Fitzpatrick

My daughter was hurt yesterday. She was playing on the slide when a friend crashed into her causing her to hop up a little and hit her back on the side of the slide. When it comes to physical pain, Hope is tough and doesn’t cry easily, so when she came running to me in tears I knew it had to be a hard hit. Her little friend was not concerned in the least that she had harmed her. Even still, Hope defended her friend declaring that it was an accident. When the pain eased, Hope went to play again, but puzzlingly her friend wouldn’t speak to her. It was a painful thing to witness. Hope had done nothing wrong. She didn’t deserve this treatment. For the next fifteen minutes, I watched Hope chase after her friend (whom she adores) tearful and trying to talk and play, but her friend wouldn’t even look at her. She kept running off…

Hope was distressed by this and I did the only thing I could do. With her little hands in mine, I looked directly into her blue eyes and assured her that she had done nothing wrong. However, to my dismay, she cried, “But I feel like I did.” 

Why does it always feel this way when someone we love hurts us? Why do we assume that we’ve done something to deserve it? Through my daughter’s upsetting experience, I am reminded how cruel silence can be. How essential it is to not give our power to others by demanding their love and approval. How do we get to the place where we are confident in ourselves and not needy of affection? It’s a lifelong learning curve, I suppose. When we find ourselves chasing after someone, we must stop and remember that we have no idea why people suddenly close off their hearts. The onus is left on us to examine why we are reacting so strongly to another’s behaviour. To see how deep our attachments have become—sometimes so deep that we forget to honour and respect ourselves.

As I kissed the crescent-shaped bruise on my daughter’s lower back, I remembered how important it is to know when enough’s enough and to walk away for the day. We headed home to the comfort of bath time, books, and peanut butter toast with butter.

Orange Sky

To have this one day is a gift 

to have so many days  

so many adventures  

so many dark nights dawning in bright mornings  

so many encounters opening to friendships  

is a blessing beyond measure.  

~ Anthony Lawlor

Don't Mention It

I love the symbolism in this beautiful Russian animation. The fear and despair that accompanies being lost in the fog (unconsciousness) compared to the elation of sharing a simple cup of tea beneath the stars with a cherished companion.

My favourite scene is when the little hedgehog falls into the river. He is forced into surrender and decides to go with the flow. It’s the lowest point of the film until a mysterious “Someone” comes to his aid. “Don’t mention it” is all the Someone says in response to Hedgehog’s words of gratitude for saving him.

*Note: The owl in this film might be frightening to young children. Please do not view before bedtime!

There Lived a Tree by Vladimir Petkevich is another animation that I could not resist sharing. It’s rich with symbolism on the certainty of change. Nature being our greatest teacher of this truth.

The theme of loss and death in this film (not to mention another freaky owl!) will not be lost on small children. I erred in showing this film to my five-year-old before bedtime. She was quite tearful about it. After much discussion, she gave me a kiss on the cheek and said, “If you die before I grow up, this is so you know I love you.”

On Forgiving

Photo: Rick Wilson

To forgive is merely to remember

only the loving thoughts you gave in the past,

and those that were given you.

All the rest must be forgotten.

~ A Course in Miracles

Magic Is Afoot

“Are unicorns real, Mama?” With all seriousness, Hope searches my face for the truth to this question. Not wanting to break her heart (she loves unicorns!), I answer as honestly as possible, “Well, I’ve never seen a unicorn, so I don’t really know...”

Unicorn Rainbow Cake by Cupcakes on the Side

I do know that magic exists in the everyday moments of our lives, especially in the beautiful faces of young children. Magic in the form of hugs, laughter, and genuine sweetness.

The most precious moment yesterday though was when Hope blew out her candles. She wished aloud, “To always have good friends and for us to be kind to each other.” ♥