Before doing things, I’ve started asking myself, “Will this strengthen or weaken me?” But, it’s difficult. Something in me wants to hang on to these old and harmful patterns. At times, I don’t know (until after) whether something is good for me or not. It’s hard, too, because these feelings make me want to retreat, which is not possible. Having a young child, I’m forced into social interaction almost on a daily basis. I cannot hide from the world.
There is nothing wrong with anxiety. Although we cannot control God’s time, it is part of the human condition to want to receive the thing we are waiting for as quickly as possible. Or to drive away whatever is causing our fear... How can you tell a passionate heart to be still and contemplate the miracles of Creation in silence, free of tension, fear and unanswerable questions? Anxiety is part of love, and should not be blamed because of that... Anxiety was born in the very same moment as mankind. And since we will never be able to master it, we will have to learn to live with it—just as we have learned to live with storms.